Wednesday 13 October 2010

Serbian violence marred by footballing outbreak


Serbian authorities are expected to submit a formal complaint after a football match broke out during a violent assault by a plucky group of Serbians on much a larger group of Italians in Genoa last night.

The violence occurred when a group of largely psychopathic Serbians, found themselves within a few yards of several thousand highly annoying Italians.

One football hooligan told us, “We found that the best place to express our anger is in a place where there is a large gathering of domestic adults of the nation we are visiting.  Fortunately, this stadium provided the perfect opportunity.”

“So we gathered ourselves together and started setting fire to stuff and throwing flaming missiles in their general direction.”

Victory

The violent confrontation was marred by seven minutes of almost relentless football, in an entirely unprovoked match which broke out in the midst of the savage fighting.

“It was disgusting, and completely unnecessary,” said one leading Serbian.

“I could hardly see this one Italian policeman with his head on fire because of these blokes in bright shirts kicking a ball backwards and forwards in front of me.”

Another disappointed Serbian told reporters, “My ticket put me almost 100 yards away from the violent action, so all I could see were athletic men running around trying to avoid all the flares dropping around them.”

“If I wanted to see that sort of thing, I wouldn’t support be part of Serbia’s travelling support, would I?”

“Why can’t they just let us set fire to things and fight people from other countries in peace?”

“How are we supposed to finally decide which nation has the most despicable set of supporters if they keep insisting on playing football right in the middle of our fights?”

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