Monday 11 October 2010

Government to throw Commonwealth games party for all surviving athletes


The Government has announced plans to throw an elaborate welcome home party for all surviving members of the UK’s Commonwealth Games teams.

With sickness blighting the competition entrants, there are genuine concerns that the number of competitors that make it home will be significantly less than those that left our shores last week.

Party organiser Terry Williams explained, “We often see parties thrown for returning soldiers, and to be honest our competitors are enduring conditions far worse than you’d see in war-torn Afghanistan.”

“We’ll have the normal party decorations, balloons, bunting and so on, but we’ll also set aside some time to remember the team-mates left behind who succumbed  to the horrific conditions in India.”

“It’s important that we remember our fallen competitors, and the sacrifice they made in trying to win medals that nobody gives a flying toss about.”

Commonwealth Games

Athletes on the front-line have said that they hugely appreciate the efforts being made back home to give them sufficient motivation to face the tough times ahead.

Speaking via satellite phone just metres from the site of most casualties to date, swimmer Rebecca Adlington told reporters, “Yes, it’s tough out here, and it’s incredibly difficult to see your fellow athletes falling all around you.”

“What keeps me going is the thought of a party when I get home.  I’ll just have to do my best to ignore all the empty seats that there is bound to be.”

“And if you could all just not ask us what it was like out there. It’s not something I’ll ever want to talk about, ever again.  You weren’t there, man.”

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