Friday 8 October 2010

Vatican insists IVF Nobel Prize should go to baby Jesus


A Vatican official has said the awarding of the Nobel Prize for Medicine to British IVF pioneer Robert Edwards is “completely out of order”, insisting the award should go to a magic man in the sky instead.

The claim comes on the back of what the Vatican is calling ‘thousands and thousands of years of baby making, not just the last twenty-odd’.

A spokesperson from the Vatican told reporters, “Where is the recognition of baby Jesus’ contribution to making babies, eh? One bloke makes a jizz cocktail and suddenly he gets a million dollar award.  It’s so unfair.”

“Robert Edwards has been playing God, and admittedly he’s been doing a worryingly good job of it.”

“It’s a bit like if Gary Oldman played God – I bet he’d be convincing too. Better than Morgan bloody Freeman, anyway.”

IVF Nobel Prize

The Nobel prize is the latest in a number of recent moves by the scientific community to explain what idiots has previously attributed to acts of God.

The Vatican spokesperson continued, “The more of this kind of thing scientists do, the less stuff we have left to attribute to the baby Jesus – we’ve already had to downgrade our miracle qualification criteria.”

“All this continued scientific discovery is sort of making us redundant.”

“Do you know how difficult it is to make a multi-billion dollar multinational organisation redundant?  Very.”

“Let me tell you now, we are going to need one hell of a pay-off.”

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