Thursday 30 September 2010

First pictures released of North Korea’s next supreme lunatic


Kim Jong Il dead

North Korea state media have released a photograph which appears to be the first confirmed picture of the country’s next supreme lunatic, Kim Jong-un.

Kim Jong-un, who is thought to be about 27 years old and almost certainly madder than a box of particularly mental frogs, was recently named vice-chairman of the Central Military Commission of the Workers’ Party and was also appointed to its central committee, state media said.

He has already set about convincing the North Korean people that he is ready to lead the country by issuing reports he scored an incredible six holes in one on his first ever round of golf – one more than his father, Kim Jong-Il, achieved on his first ever round.

It is as yet unclear which type of all-in-one jump-suit is preferred by the heir apparent, or whether he will continue with the family tradition of always wearing a khaki one when making up all manner of bullshit no-one outside of his country believes.

Kim Jong-un

The eyes of the West are already focussed on the insular state, eagerly anticipating the next wild claim to come from the mouth of it’s next power-drunk top maniac.

Tony Higgins, an expert in Asian politics explained, “We had hoped to see a game-show style selection process called ‘Korea’s Next Top Lunatic’, but the truth is much more mundane – Kim Jong-Il is simply passing power to the son he thinks is most like his demented self.”

“This is an important step in the evolution of that country, will Kim-Jong-un be a dangerous nutjob like his father, or a completely harmless nutjob like that bloke who talks to pigeons in the park?”

“Though if I’m honest, the fact that he’s made his younger sister to refer to him as ‘General Comrade’ since he was eight years-old doesn’t bode too well.”

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