Monday 27 September 2010

Mrs Miliband to insist Ed lets David have a go at weekends


Mrs Miliband has told her son Ed that he needs to let his brother David have a go after he spent the whole weekend playing with the controls of his new Labour party.

Ed Miliband was voted the new leader of the Labour party by a tiny majority in a result sure to strike fear into the hearts of anyone in favour of the alternative voting system.

As one Labour conference delegate explained, “Most people voted for David, the favourite, to lead the party – and yet Ed, the underdog with less first choice votes, is the leader – so yes, of course I think it’s a perfect voting model.”

“Unless we’re somehow the favourites at the next election, in which case I think it’s rubbish.”

The result has already caused ructions in the Miliband household, with Mrs Miliband having to step in and take early action.

She said, “Yes, I know it’s Ed’s party, but if he was any sort of brother he’d let his brother have a go every now and then. I’ve told him as much and promised him his favourite for tea if he does so.”

“David’s in a huff and is locked in his room listening to endless repeats of Nirvana’s Nevermind album.”

Labour leader

New Labour leader Ed Miliband has so far resisted the requests from his mother to let his older brother have a go at being party leader.

He told reporters, “People have incorrectly suggested that I will lead the party in a lurch to the left, but I tell you what did lurch the to the left – the bike David got when I was 8 and that he NEVER LET ME RIDE.”

“So no, I won’t be letting him have a go at dictating the new Labour economic policy.  If he wants a political party to play with he should go and get his own bloody one.”

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