Friday 24 September 2010

I’m also available for Bar Mitzvahs, Ahmadinejad tells empty UN venue


Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has reaffirmed his position at the political world’s number one religious nutjob, by claiming a US conspiracy for 9/11 designed to gain support for Israel.

After most of the Western world walked out in protest at his comments, he then set about systematically offending everyone  left in the auditorium.

A UN delegate told us, “He told the Greece representative that his mother’s moustache made her look like Tom Selleck, and puffed his cheeks out and waddled round the stage as the US delegates left the room.”

Ahmadinjed’s latest outburst has forced nutjob conspiracy theorists everywhere to revaluate their position on September 11th after realising their views are now exactly in line with the lunatic Iranian.

Conspiracy theorist Kevin Williams told us, “Yes, I felt there were many unanaswered questions about 9/11, not least with the Pentagon attack, but frankly if this twat thinks it’s a US/Israeli conspiracy then I have no option but to completely accept the official version of events.”

“I dread to think what’ll happen if someone asks him for his opinion of the moon landings.”

Ahmadinejad outburst

Ahmadinejad also took the opportunity to insist that in Iran nuclear power plants manufacture electricity in handy bomb shaped packages.

He told the four remaining delegates, “Just because we like our power needs to be met by briefcase sized devices capable of levelling entire cities, doesn’t make it wrong.”

He concluded by explaining, “I’m bullet proof and did you know that all Jews turn into spiders at night?”

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