Thursday 23 September 2010 By Mark Pearson

Kettles are black, claims senior Lib Dem pot


Liberal Democrat MP Vince Cable yesterday pointed out that the ‘banking community’ is full of people who will gladly exploit the rules to get as much money as possible for as little effort as they can get away.

Cable used his speech at the Lib Dem conference to make what some tax payers are still convinced was an extraordinary confession related to MPs recent financial practices.

The Business Secretary told conference delegates workers in the city were mainly spivs and chancers, without actually confirming whether he meant the bit of the city that centres around Westminster.

One delegate said, “I get it, people working in Westminster will do anything for a buck and treat ‘the rules’ like something that doesn’t generally apply to them.  It’s hardly news, though is it?”

“Hang on, we are still talking about MPs, right?”

Vince Cable

MP’s have responded by insisting that obscene city bonuses are so much more morally repugnant than obscene expense claims, and that it’s so important to claim the moral high ground.

As one MP said, “I wouldn’t dream of accepting a massive bonus in such austere times, unless I definitely earned it.  Which I think I did, actually.  Where do I get that bonus? I want my bonus!”

The speech ended when Cable was asked to explain how it is possible to make banks lend more and at the same time avoid the possibility of going bust because of irresponsible lending, however the Business Secretary responded by merely stuck his fingers in his ears and going, “la la la la la.”

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