Monday 20 September 2010

Nick Clegg to reassure Lib Dems with tour of his corner office


Nick Clegg will seek to reassure Liberal Democrats that the coalition government was a good idea by inviting conference delegates for a tour of his newly furnished corner office.

Clegg is expected to receive a hostile welcome from conference attendees for his role in forming what is seen as a coalition that goes against many of the Liberal Democrats’ core principles, such as getting their way on anything, ever.

However, he will seek to show them that the partnership has been good for the party by walking them through his new office just around the corner from some actual ministers of proper government departments.

Clegg told party insiders, “I got to pick a new desk from a catalogue, and if I stand on this cupboard over here I get a view of the street level.  Just about.”

“The best bit is this button.  I press it and a lady at the other end will take my lunch order.  Sometimes she’s a bit too busy, but every now and again she actually fetches me a sandwich. Amazing.”

Lib Dem conference

There are a growing number of Lib Dems who are expected to voice their anger until they see some real tangible benefits to being part of a coalition with the Conservatives.

A spokesman for the group said, “I’m not talking worthless made-up job titles, I’m talking real substantive benefits. I mean business cards, and faux-leatherette document holders, maybe some letter-headed paper.”

“We need to know we’re being taken seriously in this coalition, and a simple tour of Nick’s office isn’t going to cut it.  Unless they’ve given him a name plaque on the door.  That would be really cool.”

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