Friday 17 September 2010

Flintoff to spend more time with minibar


Former England cricketer Andrew Flintoff has announced his immediate retirement from all forms of the game as he looks to spend more time with his neglected minibar.

His injury-ravaged body is no longer capable of meeting the demands of top flight cricket, but Flintoff remains positive thanks to the opportunity his retirement now provides him to get to know his drinks cabinet all over again.

Flintoff told reporters, “People don’t realise that an international cricketer can be away from his drinks bar for up to six months of every year, which is no way to build a relationship with your favourite tipple.”

“There have been times over the years where I’ve literally forgotten what my minibar looks like, and though I am sad to stop playing, I am delighted I can now dedicate as much time as possible to being with my enormous whiskey collection.”

Retirement

Other former cricketers have sympathised with Flintoff’s situation, but have been quick to explain there are many new experiences to look forward to.

Ian Botham said, “He will get the chance to see his wine collection age, rather than returning from a tour to India only to find they’ve all grown up with out him.”

“I had a whiskey once that I barely saw, and before I knew it, it had turned eighteen and went off during a party never to be seen again.”

“I just hope that Freddie now gets the chance to correct the mistakes that I made.”

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