Tuesday 14 September 2010 By Spacey

Catholic Church to make shock signing of pastor Terry Jones


Rumours are rife that under fire religion Catholicism is considering an approach for pastor Terry Jones after it was revealed that The Dove Outreach Center in Florida are ready to cash in on their star player.

Jones, who is considered by many to be irrational religion’s hottest prospect, shot to fame after a World class performance in a game he played with millions of Muslims leading up to the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

The Catholic Church has neither denied or confirmed the rumour, but have admitted that the pastor’s performance in the game had forced them to “sit up and take notice”.

A spokesman for the catholic church said “It was a performance that took a small, unknown church from obscurity to the World stage.”

“It’s no secret that we are looking to strengthen our squad, and there are a number of crackpot nutjobs that we are looking at, but nothing has been decided.”

Pastor Terry Jones

The small Florida based church have revealed they’ll sell to the highest offer as they hope to start a bidding war.

“Terry is different class, and we have spoken to him and made it very clear that we won’t stand in his way should an offer from a bigger religion come in. He’s an ambitious nutjob and he deserves to be mental on a bigger stage than we can offer.”

“However, we have also made it clear that we won’t let him go for anything less than what we consider a fair price.”

The Pope is due to visit the UK on Thursday and it is believed that transfer targets will be top of the agenda when he meets with Archbishops to discuss how to get the ailing religion back on track following a number of sex abuse scandals.

Fans of Catholicism have reacted to the possible signing with excitement with one believer enthusing, “Jones is an amazing player, just the sort of man who won’t be swayed by an overwhelming opinion that he’s a completely insane religious maniac.”

“He will make no effort to understand anyone else’s way of life because he’s so blinded by his own interpretation of religious text.”

“Any religion in the world would want him in their ranks.”

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