Wednesday 18 August 2010

Lib Dems now slightly less popular than Herpes


A new survey has shown that after one hundred days of coalition government, support for the Liberal Democrats has fallen to 8%, slightly less than some minor STDs and Katie Price.

The survey, conducted by the always reliable Sky News, shows that people would rather contract one of the lesser sexually-transmitted diseases than vote Liberal Democrats if there were an election tomorrow.

One of those surveyed explained, “At least if you’ve got Herpes you know you’ve probably had some fun whilst getting it.”

“But getting the Lib Dems is a bit like getting Herpes from an email sent to you by someone who said they were looking forward to sleeping with you.”

“You thought it was going to be brilliant, but now realise that all they wanted was an agreement that you would sleep with them, and you’re left with the worst case scenario without so much as the briefest of rolls in the hay.”

Liberal Democrats

The latest figures have come as a surprise to many staunch Lib Dem supporters, who feel the coalition is going extremely well.

One told us, “We’ve got some lovely offices, and jobs that sound really important.  I’m not sure how much better it could have gone to be honest.”

A Herpes spokesperson explained these latest survey results were as much down to the hard work they had been putting in on their image, as anything done by the Lib Dems since they came into office.

A spokesperson told reporters, “We’ve been heavily marketing ourselves as the acceptable face of STDs – the fun highly contagious viral infection, if you will.”

“And these latest figures show that our efforts are working.  Having passed the Lib Dems we expect to be more popular than Susan Boyle by the end of cold sore season.”

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