The English Football Association has confirmed that the next scapegoat to take the blame for the poor performance of a bunch of vastly overrated millionaires linked only by a tenuous geographic anomaly, will definitely be English.
A statement said that although current scapegoat Fabio Capello has a contract until 2012, the FA will be looking for an Englishman to take the blame for everything from that point onwards.
FA Club England managing director Adrian Bevington said, “We feel it is right for the development of blame association in this country that our next scapegoat is an Englishman.”
“Foreign scapegoats have done a lot for our game, bringing over their continental excuses and ability to conveniently not understand difficult questions, but it is time we returned to our roots.”
“We have listened to the fans, and our next embarrassing World Cup capitulation will be blamed on someone born on these shores.
Fans have reacted positively to the news, with many suggesting that an English scapegoat should have been employed after Sven Goran Erickson proffered his final excuse.
One told us, “The English game has developed some of the best scapegoats in the game, but they are often overlooked because the FA always perceived that foreign scapegoats were better at taking the blame.”
“Having an excellent track record of blame absorption in Italy or Spain doesn’t prepare you for being the England scapegoat, where you are expected to offer creative excuses on an almost monthly basis.”
“There is plenty of domestic talent available. Look at people like Phil Brown and Gary Megson, good English scapegoats with a fantastic record of being blamed for the poor performance of rubbish players. Why not give one of them a chance?”