Monday 16 August 2010

Clegg to invite friends round for ‘mental’ Downing Street party


As David Cameron left Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg in charge during his two week family holiday, Clegg wasted no time in arranging a ‘well mental’ party for him and 500 of his closest internet friends at the official Downing Street residence.

Cameron will be taking his first holiday since assuming power, whilst Clegg will be given his own key to the official residence along with a list of instructions that he will readily ignore.

A coalition insider told us, “It’s a time honoured tradition that when a position of authority is absent from work, those below them piss about like the children they so obviously are.  This is no different.”

“This act of rebellion might be as small as taking a long lunch or knocking off a little early, or it might involve a couple of hundred drunken Liberal Democrats prancing around 10 Downing Street wearing Samantha Camerons maternity dresses.”

“Though we have to say, Vince Cable looks quite good in a frock.”

Coalition

Despite only being away for one day so far, political reporters have witnessed a steady stream of Pizza deliveries making their way to number 10, along with with fourteen LazyBoys, a lap dancing troupe, and what appeared to be an industrial strength dry ice machine.

One downing Street reporter said, “From my vantage point I can see Nick Clegg through a bedroom window, where he appears to be jumping up and down on the bed, and has been doing so for the last twenty-five minutes.”

A senior Liberal Democrat official who was carrying a keg of continental lager toward Downing Street told us, “It’ll be fine, we’ve got nearly two weeks to clean up.  David Cameron will have no idea we even had a party.”

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