Wednesday 11 August 2010

Old superbug announces split with PR agency after rise of NDM-1


Old superbug MRSA has announced a split with its public relations agency after news that it had been overtaken as the country’s number one superbug by new kid on the block, NDM-1.

Despite news that there are only 50 cases of NDM-1 in the country, its team of publicists have skilfully positioned it as the number one threat to the UK this summer, a position which MRSA had occupied in four of the last six years.

MRSA told reporters, “I cover more ground, infect more people, and cause more misery than this young upstart, yet where is my national coverage, eh?”

“No, all I hear is stuff about this new NDM-1, coming over here, stealing my job.  Maybe my team had got lazy, I don’t know.”

“What I do know is that I have been left with no choice but to ditch my previous representatives and seek a new team capable of getting me the role I covet most.  That of the UK’s number one superbug.”

Superbug

Filth promoter extraordinare Max Clifford is said to have been approached to represent MRSA, as it seeks to launch an early offensive against the team behind NDM-1.

Clifford told reporters, “No deal has been done as yet, but what I will say is that MRSA is a wonderful superbug with a bright future in the world of hospital infections and beyond, and you would all be foolish to discount it simply because a few people have become ill after going to India.”

“Sure, NDM-1 might be the hot new thing today, but if you were to ask me which superbug was more likely to bring about the end of civilisation as we know it, I’d back MRSA every time.”

NDM-1 was unavailable for comment, having signed an exclusive deal with the Daily Mail.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: