Tuesday 10 August 2010

Rod Stewart’s testicles ‘no closer to retirement’


After the Government relaxed the rules on the compulsory retirement age, Rod Stewart’s testicles have wasted no time in showing the world what a thoroughly disappointing amount of 65 year-old ejaculate is actually capable of.

Stewart’s testicles were among the leading campaigners demanding the right to continue working beyond sixty-five, mainly due to their close working relationship with the genitals of a 39 year-old former lingerie model.

That campaigning has paid dividends with the news that the testicles have successfully impregnated the current Mrs Rod Stewart, Penny Lancaster.

The delighted testicles told reporters, “This is a victory for past-it testicles everywhere, especially those that have been thrown on the proverbial scrap heap.”

“We have done what millions of testicles in their twenties and thirties are regularly failing to do, in successfully having intercourse with a ridiculously hot woman.”

Role model

The news has been met with delight by withered scrotums everywhere, with Stewart’s testicles keen to be seen as a role model among old bollocks across the world.

Stewart’s testicles continued, “We see ourselves having another 15 or 20 years at the top, if not necessarily on top.”

“Yes, we might be deeply unattractive in the purely physical sense, but that doesn’t mean we can’t work, or that we won’t work as well as a younger model.  Given enough time and the right stimuli we can still work up a decent head of steam you know.”

“We certainly hope this has given inspiration to ageing testicles everywhere, and that we have shown everyone that they too can still impregnate underwear models if they happen to be sitting on a fifty million pound fortune.”

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