Monday 9 August 2010 By Spacey

Toddlers blast government over continuing free milk policy


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The UK’s toddlers and pre-schoolers have reacted with furious tantrums at the government U-turn which means that they will have to carry on drinking ‘yucky’ milk for the foreseeable future.

Nurseries across the UK have reported several incidents that are believed to be a direct result of the unrest currently felt by under 5′s following the announcement that they would have to continue drinking milk.

3 year-old Harry Morris said “I think I speak for the majority of under-fives when I say that unless milk is accompanied by Coco Pops or Nesquik then it’s of absolutely no use to us whatsoever.”

“If we continue to be given just milk on its own then I fear that nurseries will bear witness to a level of defiance never seen before.”

Free milk

Nursery nurse Theresa Watson is one of many workers in the industry urging the government to reconsider their decision not to scrap the free milk.

“Please, I beg you, do what they want,” she pleaded. “Give them Fruit Shoots or something. I just want them to stop throwing Mega Blocks at me.”

The government have defended the U-turn and fired a warning at any toddlers who think that tantrums will get them what they want.

A Downing Street spokesperson said, “We will not be held to ransom like this, and we insist that you to drink your milk like good children. You can’t have a biscuit until you’ve drunk it all up. I mean it!”

“If you don’t drink your milk then no biscuit. Right, all of you get to your room! I’ll call Father Christmas right now and tell him you’ve been naughty!”

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