Monday 2 August 2010

X Factor winner Joe McElderry outed as a ‘Geordie’


Following weeks of significant tabloid speculation, X Factor winner Joe McElderry has issued a statement confirming the suspicions of millions of television viewers, by announcing that that he is a ‘Geordie’.

The Sun newspaper was said to have gained access to the person email account of McElderry, the contents of which would have left nobody in any doubt whatsoever than he was a raging Geordie.

As one TV critic said, “When you look back, it was actually pretty obvious.  He never once wore a coat when he was being filmed for the show, and he seemed a little too fond of that other Geordie, Cheryl Cole.”

His denials escalated over the Christmas period, with McElderry claiming at one point that he was from Surrey and he didn’t even fancy Cheryl Cole – not even one teeny tiny bit.

In recent weeks every paparazzi snap showed him wearing a jacket – in the height of summer – leading many to state that he was obviously trying just a bit too hard to cover up his true nature.

X Factor

Fans of the teenager have been quick to express their full support, with 16-year-old Tracy Sherman of Chelmsford explaining, “I really don’t care that he’s a Geordie, and whatever Geordie stuff he gets up to behind closed doors is entirely up to him.”

“Just because he likes his ale from a bottle doesn’t make him all that different from you or I.  He was born that way and we should just accept him for what he is.”

In a hastily drawn arranged conference McElderry told reporters, “I’ve probably known since I was a boy, but it’s one of those things that you feel might just be a phase.”

“I distinctly remember watching Byker Grove and thinking, ‘hang on, these kids are just like me, maybe I’m one of them, too’.”

He concluded, “I only hope people will continue to judge me on the turgid nature of my music, and not whether I have some sort of delusional fixation with the football team from my region, or the fact that I wear so few layers in the middle of winter.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: