Wednesday 28 July 2010

Nation overwhelmingly votes for tragic fireball end for BT ad couple


As the nation was asked to vote for its preferred next phase of the BT ad couple story arc, the overwhelming favourite is a tragic, yet ultimately satisfying car accident in which the couple perish in an explosive fireball.

BT are asking viewers to vote on their preferred story arc for the long-running advertising campaign that has bored everyone since some time in 2005.

The adverts, in which references to BT products are tastelessly crowbarred into the exceedingly dull lives of a modern family-to-be, appear as if they might finally be coming to a logical conclusion.

The promise of an end to the monotony has ignited the imagination of the nation’s television viewing public.

One viewer told us, “They make plenty of money, so I’d like to see them spend it on special effects, with a really big explosion.  But I absolutely need to hear the bloke scream in pain – that bit is non-negotiable.”

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BT have promised to follow the wishes of the voting public, with many giving more thought to the story’s conclusion than they did when deciding who should run the country for five years.

BT fan Shiela Williams explained, “I think they should try and make it as realistic as possible. With him shopping around, finding out that he can get his broadband much cheaper elsewhere, and then leaving her at the altar after the dawning realisation that he can’t marry someone who would so happily waste all of his money on vastly overpriced telephony services.”

Another told us, “Look, I’m not cruel, I’m happy for him to die in his sleep, and maybe his bloated body could be found by the cleaner after a few days?  It’s the dying bit that’s really important.  He must die.  Definitely.”

The final word went to Dave Crooks, a long time viewer who said, “Look, if they want to be a soap, then they need to end it like a soap.  Either he goes on a killing spree because Jesus told him to, or she gets AIDS and dies.  I’d be happy with either.”

How would you like to see the series conclude?  Select your favourite from the list below.

How should the BT couple saga end?

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