Thursday 22 July 2010

Eton history teacher refusing to leave bathroom


An Eton history teacher has locked himself in the toilet after former pupil David Cameron told the world’s press that World War II was won in 1950 by the team in blue.

Cameron, speaking to reporters during his US visit said the war was won in extra-time thanks to the talent and drive of senior players in the US team.

“The US is big and powerful and lovely.  And we’ve been looking up to you ever since you won World War II in mid 1950 thanks to a stunning strike from centre-forward Enola Gay.”

World War II veterans are up in arms over the gaffe, claiming Eton’s history department should hang its head in shame.

87 year old William McArthy told us, “This is as good as it get, is it?  Next time I’m voting for someone who went to a comprehensive in Basingstoke.  They might just about know their arse from the joint in the middle of their arm.”

Distraught

The history teacher in question, who the school are refusing to name, is claiming that the prime minister was sick the day they learnt about World War II and all that stuff.

A statement from him read, “I would like to place on record my profound disappointment over the fact that the most powerful man in the country can’t remember even the most salient points relating to the largest military conflict of the modern world.”

“But whatever you do, don’t ask him to repeat his seven times table.  To this day he’s been impressed by anyone that can recite that.  It’s how George Osborne got the job you know.”

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