Friday 16 July 2010

Tory MP Zac Goldsmith fiddled expenses blah blah blah


In a story so predictable it is almost not worth reporting on, Conservative MP Zac Goldsmith is accused of having fiddled his expenses in order to spend more than is allowed during his recent election campaign.

The Electoral Commission is considering the allegations that Goldsmith manipulated his expense returns in order to hide significant amounts spent campaigning in his Richmond Park seat.

As one reporter put it, “The public have been told they should care about the accusation because this type of expense fiddling is very different to the usual type of expenses fiddling, the reports of which everyone has become pretty much immune to.”

“This is very different, his fiddling wasn’t to take tax payers money.  It was so he could spend more of his own money than he is legally allowed in buying undue influence during an open election. Which isn’t nearly as bad.”

“Unless you take the situation to it’s logical conclusion and consider the possibility of a country run by those with the most money, like Cowell, Branson and Philip Green, at which point your breathing becomes shallow and your blood pressure spikes through the roof.”

Public

Members of the public have been left unconcerned about the latest revelations, despite repeated attempts to explain the significance of the situation.

As one member of the public put it, “Yeah, yeah, an MP fiddled some expenses. No, I GET it. But really, is this what people consider news these days.  Shame on you.”

“Whatever next?  I suppose tomorrow’s front pages will read ‘Bear shit found under tree’.”

“Why don’t you just get a proper job.”

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