Tuesday 22 June 2010

Striking French players to blockade all player tunnels


The striking French World Cup squad have thrown the tournament into disarray by announcing plans to blockade all players tunnels during this week’s remaining group matches.

The squad is threatening to continue their strike due to France Manager Raymond Domenech’s arrogant insistence on choosing the team, the formation they will use, and the tactics which they will adopt whilst playing.

France captain Patrice Evra told reporters, “Who does Domenech think he is?  Who is he to come here and pick a team, a style of playing, and insist we treat him like he is the boss of us?  I am a Frenchman dammit!”

“We have let it be known in no uncertain terms that we will continue to strike and disrupt the tournament until he realises that we are French, and starts treating us accordingly – by letting us do whatever the hell we like, whenever we feel like it.”

Plans

FIFA have explained that measures have been taken to ensure anyone looking even remotely French will be kept away from the players tunnel at all times, but they remain unsure if those measure will work.

Sepp Blatter explained, “We’ll do our best, obviously, but blockading tunnels is what the French do best.  It’s right up there with questionable personal hygiene and running away very quickly.”

“What people must recognise is that it’s very difficult to stop a Frenchman when he is determined to ruin everything for everyone else in order to get his way.”

“Just be glad there are so few sheep in South Africa.  But if you happen to own some, it’s probably best that keep them away from the stadium and anything that looks like a lighter.”

“In the meantime we’ll just resort to our fall back plan and explain that the Germans are coming.”

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