Friday 11 June 2010 By Spacey

‘We shouldn’t be too much longer’ promise porn-site researchers


Researchers have claimed that they may have to continue investigating whether porn sites put visitors at risk from malicious software for ‘just a little while longer’ before reaching a satisfactory conclusion.

Dr Gilbert Wondracek, a computer security expert from the International Secure System Lab, speaking by phone said “So far we’ve visited in the region of 269,000 porn sites in an attempt to determine how many of the sites contain malware.”

“We’re making significant progress, and we are close to getting an answer, but…err… there are still a few other things that we need to check out before we can declare these sites safe for people aren’t proper professional researchers doing a perfectly legitimate job – which is what we are doing.”

Dr Wondracek concluded by saying, “I reckon it’ll be no more than seven or eight more weeks, twenty tops, and we might have an answer. Rest assured that we’ll keep you posted…Holy shit! Rob! Rob! Come and take a look at this one!”

Research

It is believed that not one of the researchers has actually left the laboratory during the study, which started 6 weeks ago, though a steady stream of pizza delivery vans have been spotted going back and forth out of the rear entrance.

Figures indicate that 12% of all websites contain some kind of pornographic content and researchers taking part in this study have so far looked at only a tiny fraction of what is available across the Internet.

A spokesman for the International Secure System Lab said “Dr Wondracek’s team are very dedicated to this research and I’m sure that if need be they’ll stay in there until the funding runs out – and probably quite some time beyond that point.”

“The problem is that new sites are appearing faster than we can properly appraise them.  It’s a thankless task.”

“We are in contact with the researchers by phone and email and will be sending some essential supplies that they have requested such as coffee, toilet roll, milk, coffee and toilet roll, but, yeah mostly toilet roll.”

“Something to do with a dodgy seafood pizza, apparently.”

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