Friday 11 June 2010

PM insists he’s definitely £2k better than Andy Coulson


Prime Minister David Cameron has insisted that he is definitely worth two thousand pounds a year more than his spin doctor and former News Of The World tabloid editor, Andy Coulson.

Documents made public show that Coulson earns £140,000 a year, slightly less than the PM’s £142,500, with Downing Street insistent he is worth every penny.

A source told us, “I’m not sure people realise how difficult it is to make most of the things we do look good.”

“We’d pay him more if we could, but there is a fear that if he was the best paid person in the Government then a portal direct to Hell itself would open up in the centre of Westminster.”

Earnings

The figures also show that making the Government’s decisions ‘look good’ is more important than pretending you were involved in making them in the first place, as Coulson was shown to earn more than Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg.

Our source continued, “I know that the size of the difference between the salary of those two will concern many people looking in from the outside, but I assure you that everyone in Downing Street feels that Nick is worth almost every penny of his £134,000.  Who else would carry the PMs bags for example?”

“If I’m being completely honest, we’re on the verge of a mini-revolt now that so many people have found out that they earn less than Nick Clegg.  The tea lady is absolutely livid.”

“Thankfully we’ve got Andy Coulson around to convince them all that Nick represents great value.”

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