Thursday 13 May 2010

England fans grateful to Bobby Zamora’s achilles


England fans have expressed deep thanks to Bobby Zamora’s achilles after it chose to to commit suicide in a bid to prevent its owner from joining up with the England World Cup training camp.

Zamora, who last night lumbered around the pitch Fulham’s Europa Cup final defeat to Atheltico Madrid, was taken out by the achilles after 55 minutes of his ‘performance’.

England supporters spokesman Terry Gibbons told us, “It’s never a good thing when a player is forced to miss a major tournament through injury.  Unless that player is Bobby Zamora.”

“I don’t think I can express just how grateful we are to that altruistic achilles.  It has saved us from the sight of Zamora coming off the bench as we chase the game in our inevitable quarter-final against Germany.”

“And let me tell you, that image has kept me awake at night ever since Capello named his 30 man squad.”

“This act of bravery will not be soon forgotten.  Never has a tendon so small, done so much, for so many.”

Recovery

Zamora is expected to make a full recovery for the start of next season after it was confirmed his achilles had decided not to cause him more distress than was absolutely necessary.

As one leading surgeon explained, “Look, I know achilles’, and if it had wanted to, it could have put him out until Christmas.  It takes a special kind of achilles injury to put a player out just long enough to stop them going to the World Cup – and as an England fan I admire its handiwork.”

Mr Gibbons concluded, “This is a great day for the England football team, but as we look at that rest of that squad training happily, and injury free, we can only conclude that Emile Heskey’s achilles must be Scottish.”

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