Wednesday 12 May 2010

Millions of Lib Dem voters to ‘give fox hunting a go’


Millions of Liberal Democrat voters have this morning embraced their new identity as right-wing collaborators by expressing a willingness to give fox hunting a go in order to ‘see what all the fuss is about’.

A senior party activist told us, “Yes, normally we are radically opposed to fox hunting – but in this new dawn of progressive politics, in the plurality of this new government, it’s a reasonable concession that each of us learns what it means to witness an animal being torn apart by hungry dogs.”

“This is what coalition is all about. We could have remained on the outside, blindly saying how bad fox hunting was, but we have decided to get in there and see first hand what fox intestines look like when hanging from the jaws of a well-trained hound.”

“Plus, red is my colour and I think the hats are rather dashing.”

Change

Other traditional Liberal Democrat supporters have said that the world looks a very different place after a night’s sleep in which they were kept warm by the blanket of political power.

One told us, “I live in a mid-terrace two-bedroom house, but this morning I found I had this innate desire to make sure millionaire pay less tax.  Don’t ask me why, but it seemed to make perfect sense all of a sudden.”

“I went to bed dreaming of a fairer society for all, and woke up with an unquenchable thirst to scrap the mansion tax I’ve been banging on about for months.  It’s strange, but very, very comforting.”

Not all supporters agreed however, “I know it was a tough choice for Nick, but it was a bit like having your girlfriend leave you, and then being forced to watch her measuring the dicks of her new suitors before jumping into bed with one of them.”

“Yes, I’m sure she’ll be very happy sucking on such a powerful member, but it won’t stop me crying myself to sleep at night.”

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