Wednesday 12 May 2010

David Cameron already tired of being followed everywhere by Nick Clegg


Just twelve hours into the new coalition Government between the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats and new Prime Minister David Cameron is already said to be tired of being followed everywhere by his new deputy, Nick Clegg.

Clegg was announced in the post of Deputy Prime Minister shortly before midnight last night, but by breakfast this morning his constant position at the Prime Minister’s shoulder was already becoming tiresome to the country’s new leader.

A Downing Street insider told us, “Nick doesn’t seem to realise that Deputy Prime Minister is essentially an honorific title.  Labour didn’t even bother having one for much of their time in charge.  But he seems happy enough, which is the main thing I suppose.”

“Unfortunately, for some reason he keeps asking David if what he’s doing at that precise moment is something ‘Deputy Prime Ministerial’ that he should be doing too – even simply reading the papers over breakfast.  This is going to get old, very soon indeed.”

“We genuinely hope this is something he’ll get bored of doing very, very quickly.”

“Just an hour ago he turned up in the same suit and tie combination as David, which left Samantha very confused indeed.”

Conversations

Cameron spent most of the evening on the phone receiving congratulations from the world’s leaders, including Barack Obama and Angela Merkel.

Our insider continued, “Nick leaned in as close to David’s phone as he could possibly get, and kept whispering, ‘Should I talk to him now? I am the Deputy Prime Minister, perhaps I should be on that call?  You know, just to introduce myself?’. David wasn’t impressed.”

Political commentators have suggested that it all began when David Cameron was summoned by the Queen to be invited to form the new government.

Nick Clegg enjoyed meeting the Queen

Nick Clegg enjoyed meeting the Queen

The BBC’s Nick Robinson explained, “Nick Clegg told the new PM he would wait by the phone in case any important calls came in which only a Deputy Prime Minister could deal with.”

“The next thing you know he’s letting himself out of the boot of David’s Jag, and waving to all the cameras outside the palace.”

“Then he parked himself in between David and the Queen introducing himself as the new ‘Deputy Prime Minister and second in command of the whole country you know’.”

“It was all a bit embarrassing, and the PM has put it down to a bit of nervous excitement.  But seriously, another five years in opposition is looking a lot more attractive than it did twenty-four hours ago.”

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