Monday 10 May 2010

Cameron excited by prospect of third date with Clegg


David Cameron was this morning telling everyone just how excited he is by the prospect of his imminent third date with Nick Clegg, reminding everyone that a third date means he is ‘definitely up for it’.

It is rumoured that Cameron and Clegg have been in almost constant contact since their first date on Friday, with Conservative party insiders claiming Cameron has barely been able to sleep, such is his infatuation with the Liberal Democrat leader.

Despite two fairly lukewarm dates so far, Clegg’s willingness to see Cameron for a third time has led many Tory supporters to conclude that their man is about to get exactly what he has been after all along.

One Conservative strategist explains, “Everyone knows what the third date means.  It means the night ends with a massive smile on my face.”

“People might be playing down the significance of a third date, but trust me, David’s cooking isn’t that good.  Nick is only coming round because he is up for it – definitely.”

Chastity

With speculation now rife that some sort of formal copulation between the two is imminent, senior Lib Dem party members have encouraged their leader not to give in to Cameron’s charms too easily.

One told us, “Nick shouldn’t feel pressured.  If David really wants him, he’ll be willing to wait for him.”

“It seems like the only person who can’t see that David is only after him for his seats, is Nick.  He’s becoming more smitten by the day, and I just know this will all end in tears.”

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, Nick Clegg is worth so much more than this, and he shouldn’t feel the need to do as David says just because he is scared he might lose him.”

“Yes, he might enjoy a little roll in the hay now, but trust me, he’ll look back on this in years to come and wish he’d kept it in his pants.”

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