Wednesday 5 May 2010

Turner prize committee criticised after 2010 shortlist contains ‘paintings’


The committee responsible for awarding the 2010 Turner prize has been heavily criticised after this year’s shortlist included what is known to the layman as ‘paintings’.

The move has shocked many in the art world, particularly those with an overstated sense of their own importance.

A leading art critic for The Art Review said, “Turner prize is about unfathomable expressions of angst by deeply pretentious public school bastards.  It’s not about ‘painting’.”

“Painting is what common people do to skirting boards and door frames.  If Joe Public can understand what it is all about, then it’s simply not art.”

“Works of art that win the Turner prize winners should not be capable of being hung on the wall of a semi-detached house in Dagenham next to a picture of pool-playing dogs.”

Shortlist

Both Dexter Dalwood and Angela de la Cruz have been shortlisted despite a preference for creating the type of art most of is have seen in in the country’s secondary schools.

Art collector Giles Bornwood-Smythe told us, “It’s a terrible state of affairs.  If one of them wins, people will start thinking contemporary art is worth looking at again.  Then where will I be?”

“No, the Turner prize is only for people who understand modern art.  Just the other day I was at a gallery and found myself admiring a bag of human faeces in a polythene bag, which the artist was clearly using to represent the immense futility felt by the layman in today’s political process.”

“It turns out it was just a nappy bag someone had accidentally forgotten to clear away – but it was just the sort of installation one has come to expect from the Turner prize.”

“We need to see more bags of shit competing for the Turner prize.”

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