Friday 30 April 2010

SNP to thkweam until they are sick over televised PM debates


Scottish National Party leader Alex Salmond has today threatened to scweam and scweam and scweam until the nation pretends he is more than a complete irrelevance to over 90% of the population, and we all agree to let him be on the television.

Salmond’s scweaming bid – backed by several expensive lawyers – is in response the BBC’s election debate this Thursday, which has excluded the SNP on the basis that the vast majority of people don’t live in Scotland.

However, the SNP view is that this is discriminatory to minority parties, and Salmond is demanding that his performance be torn apart by the nation’s tabloids the same as any other leader.

Salmond told reporters outside the courthouse, “This debate will be broadcast in Scotland, to Scottish people, yet I’m not going to be involved, which is an absolute travesty.”

“The fact that we’ve already had our own debate up here is completely irrelevant.  I want the opportunity to stand next to some genuinely relevant people, and if my continuing pleas are ignored, then I will stand here and scream until I am sick.”

Debate

Political parties across all sides of the chamber have said that allowing Salmond access to the televised debates will make a mockery of the process, and make him look really, really silly.

However, some parties have said the precedent could be important for their own parties, with Wilf Thurrock of the Yorkshire Party claiming an equal right to the national televised platform.

He told reporters, “There are more people in Yorkshire than in Scotland, so we deserve to be in this debate more than the SNP.”

“Yorkshire people deserve the right to hear about Yorkshire issues and how these London-centric parties will address the needs of the voters throughout yorkshire.”

“We won’t be screaming like a lass if we don’t get it, but we deserve to be heard just as much as the SNP do.”

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