Thursday 8 April 2010

‘Typical Germans’ ensured we lost, claims Man Utd’s typical Scot


Typical Scot Sir Alex Ferguson was last night angered by Bayern Munich’s players as Manchester United crashed out of the Champions League on away goals, citing their behaviour as ‘typically German’.

The Germans stand accused by Ferguson of going about their business in a ruthlessly efficient manner, and seeking to exploit the weaknesses of their opponents at every available opportunity.

“It’s typical of the Germans,” said Ferguson after the match.

“Pretending to be all nice when secretly they were doing everything in their incredibly effective soul-destroying powers to knock us out of the competition.”

“Passing the ball around so efficiently, putting it on our net when they wanted to.  It’s all so typically German, don’t you think.”

“They also definitely told Rafael to make two silly and completely unnecessary challenges, ensuring he was sent off.  Bloody Germans.”

“The way they made sure the referee knew it was his second booking was ruthlessly, and definitely not the sort of thing you see week in week out from my players.”

Victory

Bayern Munich Manager Louis van Gaal claimed his side’s victory was well deserved, and that Ferguson was simply reacting like a typical Scot.

He told reporters, “We deserved to win by virtue of scoring more goals away from home, it is a simple equation.  Ferguson is just being typically Scottish.”

“If there’s one thing the Scots are famous for, it’s being gracious in defeat.  That, and passing on good wishes to their victors.  And their passive nature.  Oh, hang on…”

“Look, I’ll just be glad if Ferguson stops making drunken abusive phone calls to me before the semi-final.”

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