Wednesday 7 April 2010

New Scrabble players to insist Polish friend really is called Pzykxjql


The rules of word game Scrabble are being changed for the first time in its history to allow the use of names, places and other proper nouns, dramatically increasing the scores of people from Eastern Europe.

The move has disappointed many traditional scrabble enthusiasts, as it is seen to be dumbing down a game normally out of the reach of the nation’s simpletons, many of whom have little ability to spell.

Henry Johns, 49, said, “Look, Scrabble has always been a learning tool – as I use it help people learn how much better my vocabulary is than theirs.”

“But since you’ve changed the rules I’ve been beaten twice by the Polish barman at the pub.  A Barman!”

“He essentially got 400 points just for spelling out his family tree, and so I lost even though I had ‘cubism’ and ‘fallacy’ across triple word scores.”

“Between you and me, I don’t think he even has a second cousin called Hsfkhd.”

New dimension

Scrabble manufacturer Mattel has defended the decision to include proper nouns as being ‘inclusive’ and less ‘elitist’.

A spokesman explained, “We felt it was unfair that a word game like Scrabble could only be enjoyed by people who knew a lot of words, and how to actually spell them.”

“Now the joy of Scrabble can be experienced by anyone who knows the names of things, people and places.”

“And yes, it still counts even if they have spelt their own child’s name incorrectly on the birth certificate. We get asked that a lot.”

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