Wednesday 7 April 2010

Men to insist wives book into sex clinics to treat acute ‘ambivalence’


Following the success of Tiger Woods’ treatment to amend his sexual behaviour, men everywhere have begun the search for a residential clinic for their wives which could help treat their acute sexual ambivalence.

Though the search for such a facility has so far proved fruitless, it is hoped one will be found sooner rather than later.

“It is a proper illness, like being a mental,” said Dave Lasota, the husband of one sufferer.

“Yes – she cooks and she cleans, and she’s perfectly pleasant in polite company, but simply put, she just doesn’t put out.”

“That can’t be normal, right?  So it’s my duty as her husband to seek out the best available treatment medical science has to offer.”

Curious

The treatment of sexual ambivalence is expected to be significantly easier than that for sexual addiction.

Mr Lasota continued, “I can sort of understand how difficult it must be to stop someone doing something they really, really like – whether it be booze, drugs or sex.”

“But I would have thought it would be quite easy to do the reverse, after all, there’s a bloody good reason people keep on doing these things.”

“Now that I’ve seen the effect a trained professional can have on the rampant libido of a man like Tiger Woods, frankly I’m really keen to see if he can do the reverse to my missus.”

“If they can get her to agree to more than the second Wednesday of each month and a birthday blowie it’ll be well worth the undoubtedly astronomical fee.”

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