Thursday 1 April 2010

Met police finally find the time to fire imprisoned chief


After nearly two months taking care of a ‘couple of other things’, the Met Police Authority has finally gotten round to firing former Commander Ali Dizeai who was jailed in February of this year.

He was jailed for four years after being found guilty of insufficiently covering his tracks following accusations of misconduct and perverting the course of justice.

After the sacking was announced, a Metropolitan police spokesperson told us, “We are absolutely committed to ridding our organisation of corruption, but you know how it is, you can easily get caught up doing other things for a couple of months.”

“It’s been a busy few weeks, and there has been some really good stuff on the television.”

“It just seems like one minute you’re watching your boss sent down for a four stretch, and before you know it, it’s Easter.”

Time

Former office worker Sally James, 32 told us, “I was fired from my job for stealing notepads which I then sold at car boot sales.”

“Do you know how long it was between being discovered and being unemployed?  Eleven minutes.  That said, this was a clear case of stationary theft and not a tiny little deception designed to pervert the entire legal process in this country.”

The Met police spokesperson explained that although it might seem like a ridiculous amount of time to take in firing someone who was sent to prison, when it happened, it happened really quickly.

“In our defence, the statement we released made it quite clear that when we got round to doing the actual sacking, he was sacked with ‘immediate’ effect.  Not in a few more weeks.  Immediately.”

“The thing you have to realise, is that for a police force to address the item at the very top of its to-do list, a couple of months is pretty bloody good.  You shouldn’t compare us to the private sector, as that’s never going to look good for us.”

“Sure, it might seem like a strange situation to still be employing a police chief whilst he is serving a prison term – but to put it into private sector terms, think of him as on gardening leave.”

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