Wednesday 31 March 2010

Millions of Welsh viewers set for massive Channel 5 disappointment


As Wales becomes the first part of the country to complete its digital television switch over, millions of homes are set for their first extremely disappointing exposure to Channel 5.

Thanks to poor reception for the previous analogue signal, many homes have yet to experience an early evening in the company of Ian Wright, that page three model and the one off of The Apprentice with all the teeth.

However, a number of Welsh early adopters have already seen Channel 5, and have been left wondering, ‘what was the bloody point of the whole exercise’.

One told us, “For years they’ve been saying we’d get channel 5 if we went digital as if it were something to aspire to.  But – and I mean in this in the nicest possible way – is this it?”

“I mean, Live at Studio Five is like spending an hour being held hostage by escapees from the local lunatic asylum – after they’ve just discovered caffeine.”

“I swear to God, it looks to me like Ian Wright is using the tele-prompter for his reading comprehension practise.”

Rubbish

They continued, “I don’t want you to think I’m picking on those three idiots, I’m not.  I also saw something called ‘Extreme fishing with Robson Green’ – and I’m not even making that up.”

“Each night they also have four hours of this thing called ‘Supercasino’, where you can give all of your money to these gambling companies fronted by perma-tanned idiots – all without ever having to visit an actual casino.”

“Yes, this whole exercise has convinced what an an excellent investment the billions spent on the digital switchover actually was.”

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