Monday 22 March 2010

We are now totally prepared for any more snow, claim councils


Councils across the country last night spoke out to assure local residents that should any more snow fall, they have finally taken all possible steps to be completely prepared for it.

Following significant snow fall in December, and criticism of their lack of preparedness, councils across the country put their rapid response teams to work, which has lead directly to today’s readiness announcement.

One council worker explained, “After a couple of months of planning, we have ordered and received extra stocks of grit, so should any more snow fall in the coming weeks I can assure residents of our parish that all roads will be gritted to sufficient standards.”

“I swear to God, I’m not even kidding.  If two feet fell tonight we would be totally okay about it.”

“I think this shows that when something needs doing urgently, you can rely on your council to make it happen.  Eventually.”

Expensive

Another council member was at pains to explain how expensive it had been to procure all of the extra grit they seem to think is still required.

“It’s actually quite expensive to get hold of extra road grit in March, but monetary considerations should be secondary when the safety of our residents is at stake.  Especially with it being election year and all.”

“One issue was storage, so we had to find a way to make room for all this extra grit until we need it.”

“We discussed it during our weekly rapid response meetings – the ones that didn’t get postponed anyway – and in the end we made extra room by emptying a number of reservoirs which contained nothing but fresh water.”

“We discussed it, and we can foresee absolutely no need whatsoever for all that extra clean water in the coming months.  No, no, you’re welcome.”

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