Monday 15 March 2010

Beckham set to lose excellent place to watch England’s World Cup campaign


David Beckham looks set to lose his spectator position alongside Matthew Upson and Michael Carrick on England’s bench during the South African World Cup, following an achilles injury suffered whilst playing for AC Milan.

The injury is set to ruin Beckham’s dream of watching England’s World Cup campaign from a seat just yards from the actual pitch whilst wearing a brightly coloured safety vest.

A Beckham family spokesperson told reporters, “David is devastated, as you can imagine.  Unless you’ve played the game at the highest level, I don’t think you can really understand just how good the view is when you’re sat between the physio and the man who washes the kit.”

“Sometimes the manager would let him run up and down the line so it would almost feel like he’d be on the pitch with the other players.”

“He was genuinely excited about watching Walcott, or Wright-Phillips, or Lennon, or Young playing in his preferred position, and now that dream has been cruelly ripped away from him.”

Experts

Surgeons have already explained that modern medical techniques will mean that the injury is unlikely to be career threatening.

A leading achilles specialist told us, “He’ll be up and around walking within a month, and can return to his modelling commitments shortly after that, the scar will be small and hardly visible – if photographed from the correct angle.”

“I would suspect that by July or August he’ll be back endorsing products that faceless global corporations would like you to buy just as if this injury never happened.”

An England supporters association spokesperson said they were disappointed by Beckham’s injury, but it did have some benefits.

“Don’t get me wrong, Beckham would always give us a wave from the bench, which was nice.”

“But on the bright side, South Africa is now likely to be 100% posh spice free, which is nice.”

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