Thursday 4 February 2010

Hong Kong business man wins Portsmouth FC in game of pass the parcel


Premier League crisis club Portsmouth have been taken over by their twenty seventh different owner of the season, after a game of pass the parcel among people owed money by the ailing club.

Hong Kong-based businessman Balram Chainrai is understood to have taken 90% of Portsmouth’s shares from previous owner Ali Al Faraj after the music stopped whilst he was holding a bag with the keys to Fratton Park.

The move is expected to bring four or five days of stability to the south coast club, before the search begins for the twenty-eighth owner, with plans already underway to invite all debtors to a large game of musical chairs at the end of next week.

Press Conference

In a hastily arranged press conference, new owner Mr Chainrai told reporters, “Yes, it’s true, when the music stopped the keys were in my hand.”

“Those are the rules, and I agreed to abide by them.  I assure everyone that I will do my absolute best in the coming days to ensure this club returns to it’s former glories as a club capable of paying back all of the money it has borrowed.”

“It’s true that it’s never been a particular dream of mine to spend most of my hard earned millions on overpaid idiots to run around a field really, really badly.”

“But I do regularly dream about getting back all of the money I lent to a shady Arab businessmen, so I suppose this is a dream come true of sorts.”

“Now, I don’t suppose I could interest you in a new full back could I? I’ll even chuck in eighty-grand-a-week John Utaka for free.”

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