Wednesday 3 February 2010

Katie Price declares undying love for newly famous man


Katie Price has declared her undying lover for newly-famous cage-fighting boyfriend Alex Reid after marrying him in Las Vegas, a spokesman for the couple has said.

The pair were married in a ‘quiet and simple ceremony’ attended only by close friends, family, PR representatives, magazine negotiators, a couple of hundred photographers and any television station within 500 miles.

The marriage has come only days after Alex Reid’s victory in Celebrity Big Brother for his portrayal of easily-mocked simpleton with a thick violent streak, Alex Reid.

Price spoke of her delight shortly after the ceremony, which was filmed for her latest documentary series, “Who Katie did next”.

“People will be surprised at the speed of this wedding, yes,” said Price.

“I suppose mainly because I broke up with him on live television three months ago, but you have to consider the circumstances, he was an absolute nobody back then.”

“Alex has been famous now for nearly a week, and I have to say that I have never found him so attractive and potentially lucrative.”

Delight

Alex Reid then spoke of his happiness of securing his ‘ticket to fame’ on a long term, almost watertight contract.

He told waiting reporters, “People think of her as just a celebrity vagina who is famous for talking about fights with people who’ve been temporarily lost inside her celebrity vagina, but she’s so much more than that.”

“She has great boobs and a magnificent bank account, too.”

“I am sure that as you come to see our gleaming faces on the front of every magazine in the coming weeks and months, you too will come to feel about her the way I do.”

“Which is a mixture of fear, pity, and a desire to be as rich as her.”

The spokesperson for the couple then concluded the interviews, claiming that he had already copyrighted the term, “The Lidl Posh’n’Becks”

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