Tuesday 2 February 2010

Obama points NASA at new desolate inhospitable wasteland, near Dundee


President Barack Obama has cancelled the American project designed to take humans back to the Moon, claiming there are still plenty of desolate inhospitable wastelands to explore closer to home.

Despite much criticism from the scientific community, President Obama insists the decision is the right one to make for the United States at the current fiscally restricted time.

He told reporters, “NASA has a reputation for exploring places as yet untouched by the hand of civilisation, and as such, locations like Dundee offer us a unique exploratory opportunity.”

“We still harbour the natural human curiosity to explore those corners of our solar system uninhabitable by intelligent life, of which there are plenty on the East coast of Scotland.”

“We still want our astronauts to experience the feeling of complete isolation, of being a million miles from home, which is common for most of the visitors who venture north of the Tay.”

Prepared

President Obama also claimed that this new mission would leave Nasa better prepared than ever before for the first contact with extra terrestrials.

“This mission will prepare us well for our first contact with alien civilisations,” he continued.

“We will have to deal with unknown languages, violent natives, and as yet unclassified virulent diseases.  It is the perfect dress rehearsal for first contact.

“We’ll also be saving $20bn dollars by not building a space rocket, and instead acquiring a couple of transatlantic flights and a train to Dundee station.”

The mission is scheduled for late 2010.

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