Monday 25 January 2010

Osama Bin Laden accidentally records himself singing along to TV show Glee


Al Qaeda have released a new tape of leader Osama Bin Laden praising pants bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab and warning of further attacks, though most attention has been focussed on the apparent bloopers accidentally included at the end of the C90 cassette.

The tape, released via Al Jazeera, goes through the motions of standard warnings to the ‘godless infidels’ until a number of apparent taping errors as Bin Laden struggles to pronounce Abdulmutallab’s name correctly.

After finally getting his name right, Bin Laden is heard to say, “Thank Allah for that!” to much applause from his fellow terrorists.

Then, as the tape comes to the conclusion, the stop button is not completely depressed and Bin Laden announces his love for new FOX TV series ‘Glee’ which is playing in the background, before singing along to the hit track from the show, “Don’t Stop Believin'”.

Authentic

The tape went through a stringent verification process before the US would officially comment on it’s authenticity.

A US security spokesperson told us, “It sounds like he might have taped over an old Al Qaeda karaoke night.  Money is obviously tight, and so they’re recycling, I suppose we should applaud them for that.”

“If you listen closely during what is best described as the ‘bloopers’, Osama gets Abdulmutallab’s name wrong time and time again, much to the entertainment of his fellow cave dwellers.”

“They might be evil incarnate, but it was genuinely nice to see they haven’t lost their sense of humour in all of this.”

One security expert explained that after this latest audio release, it is now just a matter of time before Bin Laden is caught.

He told us, “The net is closing in.  Last year there were just 214 C90 cassettes sold around the world, mostly by grandparents as presents for grandchildren in their twenties, so we’re pretty sure we can find him just by looking at a few receipts.”

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