Wednesday 6 January 2010 By Warren Devine

Scientists also fail to find evidence of the clitoris


Scientists who recently disproved the existence of the G-spot in women have now gone a step further and refuted the existence of the female clitoris.

Doctor Bennett of Sheffield University says in a recent report in the British Medical Journal, “After months of meticulous study, we can find no evidence for the existence of the so-called ‘clitoris’.”

“Men have been searching vain for the clitoris for years now, but finally, we can categorically state that it does not exist.”

When asked about his research methods, Doctor Bennett stated, “We’ve been to loads of parties, pubs and clubs, and even tried internet dating, but we are yet to find a woman who would be prepared to show us her clitoris.   Even when we explain that it’s for the advancement of science.”

“We can therefore only conclude that clitori do not exist, and are merely a female construct designed to make us feel inferior.”

Controversy

Their claim has attracted considerable controversy within the scientific community.

Professor Wilkins, of Aberystwyth University said, “I once fingered a girl, and she definitely had a clitoris because she had, like, a million organisms, yeah?”

When presented with this evidence, Doctor Bennett subjected it to stringent peer review, saying, “Wilkins is a big fat liar who’s never even kissed a girl.  Everyone says he’s gay anyway.”

Despite coming up short so far, scientists will not be stopping here in their quest to finally map the female erogenous zones.

“We’re going to verify the existence of nipples on women next, just as soon as we can get a girl to take her bra off for us”, said Doctor Bennett.

“Or I can get my hand inside it”, he added.

“Or decent feel outside tops, at least”.

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