Wednesday 6 January 2010 by James Gibson

Britain at standstill as terrorists use weather to create chaos


snow terrorism

Britain has once again succumbed to the threat of weather-based terrorism with the majority of the country brought to a standstill by the use of the outlawed blanket precipitation weapon, codenamed S.N.O.W. (Seems Normally to Occur in Winter).

This new weapon is capable of delivering a massive 4 inches of cover over a period of 18-24 hours, creating chaos across society.

In a statement from Whitehall, the Secretary of State for Defence, Bob Ainsworth, confirmed that an upgraded version of S.N.O.W. had been used for the recent attack.

“The technology is still not completely understood, so developing a strategy to cope with its use, remains a long way off.” he said.

“Despite the efforts of our best people we remain powerless to either predict or cope with the aftermath of an attack”.

Bio-weapon

Thought to be a combination of traditional artillery and bio-weapon, it is the neurological side-effects that are causing the greatest concern.

Anyone caught at the wheel of a vehicle during an attack seemingly loses any ability to co-ordinate their eyes and hands, with women particularly at risk.

Children and male adolescents are also prone to behavioural disturbance and unwittingly add to the weapons potency with airborne ballistic distribution, the impact of which can really hurt when combined with frozen H2O or small stones.

Intelligence

The recent arrest and interrogation of father and son presenting team, Peter and Dan Snow, established limited intelligence, despite significant electronic and handwritten materials recovered from their respective homes.

“The weapon was referenced on virtually everything they both wrote.” said Chief Inspector Smith, leading the investigation.

“But we have struggled to link them to any rogue organisation, other than the BBC.”

“We continue to question them about an un-related charge of nepotism but currently lack sufficient evidence for a conviction.”

Sightings

Recent multiple sightings of the albino terror leader known as “snowman” appear to have coincided with the latest attack and police are investigating a possible link.

However, given the fugitives propensity for unexplained escape following the cessation of S.N.O.W. attacks, the pressure is on the authorities to turn up the heat with regard to security.

The police have released a photo-fit of “snowman” as he may appear if disguised. Members of the public are advised to approach with caution as he may be armed.

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