British Airways cabin crew have voted overwhelmingly in favour of strike action over the Christmas period ensuring thousands of holiday makers will now be forced to spend Christmas watching the Queen’s speech and old James Bond movies.
An investigation was launched last night after Ryan Giggs won Sports Personality of the Year despite his inability to offer any proof whatsoever of having a discernible personality of his own.
The Treasury Select Committee has called for the immediate nationalisation of Simon Cowell, after studies indicated that he now controls almost 97% of the UK’s disposable income.
As US President Barack Obama accepted his Nobel Peace prize yesterday, he was quick to pay thanks to the application of the US military and their missiles of friendship, guns of pacifism, and bullets of love.
Despite more drivers using hand-held mobile phones than ever before, researchers recently discovered a white van man driving with both hands simultaneously on the wheel, the Transport Research Laboratory has said.
Facebook has announced a range of new privacy settings that will make it almost impossible to avoid seeing updates to the profiles of some of the network’s most tedious individuals.
There were angry scenes last night as budgetary measures announced by Chancellor Alistair Darling meant that paying for the recession is something to be done by you and I, and not other people.
Several hundred idiots are said to be unhappy after items of gold jewellery posted to complete strangers at ‘cash conversion’ companies returned significantly lower sums than expected.
Plans to vaccinate healthy children under the age of five against swine flu are in disarray after doctors decided a deal which would give them £5.25 for every dose administered simply wasn’t worth it.
Broadcaster ITV has been forced to apologise to the viewing public after it showed a series of mind-numbingly tedious programmes that have been classified as cruel by watchdogs.
