Thursday 31 December 2009

Jenson Button honoured with MBE for having a really, really fast car


Jenson Button has been awarded the MBE in the Queen’s New Year Honours list in recognition of the fact that he got to drive a really, really fast car for the duration of 2009.

With actor Patrick Stewart receiving a knighthood and the members of Status Quo getting OBEs, special praise has been reserved for those with a car significantly faster than everybody elses.

“The Queen is a big fan of motorsport,” said a Palace spokesperson.

“She loves Formula 1, but she goes bat shit crazy for motorbikes and Nascar.  She keeps trying to sneak a trip to the Indianapolis 500 onto her annual agenda.”

“Her first list had three hundred names of people who drive and ride various machines at high speeds, so we had to tone it down and a bit and add a few musicians and actors in there.”

“Luckily for some Status Quo happened to be on the radio, and Star Trek: The next Generation was on the tele.”

“But despite her protests and tantrums, we simply couldn’t give an award to a racing car as there is no precedent for giving awards to inanimate objects, despite Nick Faldo getting the MBE in 1998.”

“So, we decided instead to give it to the man lucky enough to spend the year driving the fastest car.”

Critics

The award has met with criticism from many who also own really, really fast cars.

Shane Donnnely, 37, told us, “It’s ridiculous, I got my car upto 145 on the M40 but all I got awarded was a 12 month ban and a £500 fine.  It’s double standards are their very worst.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: