Wednesday 16 December 2009

All men take Twiggy off their ‘old women I’d still do’ lists


Men everywhere have removed Oil of Olay model Twiggy from their lists of old women they’d still definitely do, after discovering that she actually looks like a normal 60 year old woman.

The cosmetic firm Oil of Olay have been forced to admit that they airbrush photos of Twiggy for advertisements because, unfortunately, old women are a bit saggy.

An Oil of Olay spokesperson told us, “We had two choices, airbrush her wrinkles out, or relaunch the product as one that gives you jowls like a basset hound.  We chose the former.”

Men everywhere have expressed their anger at the disappointing revelation that Twiggy doesn’t look like her adverts in real life.

35 year-old Dave Shut told us, “I had created this elaborate sexual fantasy about having three generations of women from the same family all at once, with Twiggy as the totally-up-for-it matriarch.”

“And now it’s ruined.  Totally ruined.”

Another told us, “I once hid in a wardrobe and masturbated into a sock over an advert she was in.  But now I feel dirty.”

Precedent

This is not the first time an older woman has been dropped from men’s definitely-doable lists over night.

Dave Shut continued, “For years I had Joan Collins on my list because of all the soft focus they used in the Cinzano adverts.”

“Then I saw a paparazzi photo of her on a boat and instantly lost my lunch.  It was hours before I could achieve another reasonable erection.”

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