Tuesday 15 December 2009

X Factor protestors to give money to Sony in slightly different way


Organisers of a Christmas number 1 protest against the X Factor have chosen to purchase a different song owned by the Sony Music Entertainment than the Joe McElderry track being released by Simon Cowell’s bit of Sony Music Entertainment.

The protesters are encouraging people to buy the track, “Killing in the name” by Rage Against the Machine, which includes the lyric, “F*ck you I won’t do what you tell me” which experts have said might as well be “F*ck you I’ll give my money to Sony in a slightly different way thank you very much”.

It is hoped that by securing the number 1 slot for a non-X Factor act, Sony executives will be forced to look seriously at their ability to accurately forecast revenue spikes during future earning periods.

Facebook

Organiser of the Facebook protest Jon Morter told us,”We have nothing against Joe McElderry personally, but if we wanted to listen to someone murder a Miley Cyrus record, we’d buy a Miley Cyrus record.”

“Our aim is to hurt the corporation behind it all, and these protest purchases of a different Sony record will almost certainly cause some sort of forecasting error at Sony HQ, which in turn will result in something of a temporary kerfuffle.”

“What better way to stick it to the man than by giving him money in a slightly different way than he was expecting to receive it.”

“Imagine your mate was buying an old CD from you, but he put the cash in your wallet instead of your PayPal account.  You’d be livid, and rightly so.”

“Now imagine that was a couple of million quid instead – see, it’s a flawless plan that simply can not fail.”

Sony

A Sony spokesperson told us, “This is terrible news for everyone at Sony Music Entertainment, honestly.”

“Earning more money than we expected to over the Christmas period is always difficult to explain to shareholders.”

“It’s almost enough to make us learn our lesson about filling the charts with populist shite, almost.”

“In fact, I can pretty much guarantee you would teach us the mother of all lessons, one we’d never forget, if you could all buy the album of Sony artists Franz Ferdinand when Joe McElderry’s album is released.”

“Man, that would seriously piss us off.”

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