Monday 7 December 2009

Zamora for England, says Roy Hodgson during dementia episode


Fulham manager Roy Hodgson has shown signs of early onset dementia after recommending Bobby Zamora for an England World Cup place during a post match interview with the nation’s media.

The public outburst has forced Fulham officials to admit for the first time that their manager is starting to lose his marbles.

A Fulham spokesperson told us, “He still seems to be able to give adequate team talks, though he does seem to think he’s giving them to his 1995 Inter Milan side.”

“It’s a bit embarrassing when he keeps referring to Damien Duff as Aaron Winter, but the players think its some clever nickname that they haven’t figured out yet.”

“We were hoping to keep his failing mental capacity behind closed doors for a little longer, but I guess it’s out there now.”

Symptoms

Leading Dementia experts have said that although still he is  still relatively young, the symptoms displayed by Hodgson are conclusive.

“Dementia can be categorized by symptoms such as memory loss, disorientation, and recommending Bobby Zamora for anything other than the glue factory.”

“Claiming Bobby Zamora is suitable for England’s World Cup team is a classic indicator of mental illness.”

It is hoped that with adequate care, Hodgson will be able to maintain his position as team manager for several years to come.

The Fulham spokesperson concluded, “We will be showing him footage of him recommending Booby for a place in Fabio Capello’s squad during one of his more lucid moments.”

“If that isn’t enough to make him seek the help he so obviously needs, then nothing ever will be.”

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