Tuesday 1 December 2009

Every UK grandparent getting Susan Boyle album for Xmas


Susan Boyle’s debut album has broken sales records for a debut release indicating that every grandparent will be receiving a copy from their particularly unimaginative grandchildren this Christmas.

With over 400,000 copies sold so far, early indications are that just eleven copies were bought by people planning to keep, and listen to, it for themselves.

The album, in which Boyle competently sings several songs despite having an outward appearance which suggests she would not be able to competently sing several songs, h she appears normal-looking, has proven popular among grandchildren in a hurry.

“I bought three copies, one for each of my grans, and my mum’s getting one too – even though she’s only 49.” said 15 year old Nathan Jones.

“I’m very grateful to Simon Cowell, as buying presents for old people can be tricky.  Slippers?  Cardigan?  Or some sort of slippers and cardigan combination?”

“But that’s a dilemma I don’t have to face this year.”

Cardigan

Another grown man told us how he was planning on buying his gran some wool with which to knit her own cardigan, but that all changed when watching an interview with Simon Cowell.

“It was strange actually, I was watching Simon Cowell, and then things went a little fuzzy.”

“When I came to I was sat in Tesco car park with a dozen copies of ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ in a carrier bag next to me.”

“Every female relative will be getting a copy, I assure you.”

When asked for a comment, Cowell said, “Look into my eyes, not around the eyes, but into my eyes.  Now, I want you to…

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