Thursday 19 November 2009

France celebrates becoming even more detestable


France has increased its gap at the bottom of the global ‘Loathsome Nations League’ after its football team cheated the loveable Irish out of a place at next year’s World Cup finals in South Africa.

Following last night’s result, France have dropped a further three points behind Iran, the second most detested nation on the planet who are themselves one point behind North Korea.

The move comes after a small pocket of International appreciation for the French national football team withdrew that support after watching them cheat their way to victory in a World Cup play-off.

Thierry Henry picked up the ball and threw it at William Gallas in the move which led to France’s winning goal.

“I’ve always liked watching France play football, ever since Zidane got into their side.  They were entertaining,” said previous supporter John Hughes.

“That entertainment sort of balanced out all the obnoxious sheep burning stuff everyone else from that country was doing.”

“It meant you could describe my overall attitude to France as being ‘ambivalent’, just about.”

Nature

However, in the face of defeat last night, one of France’s least punchable citizens, Thierry Henry could no longer hide his true nature as a despicable cheating shit.

“I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised,” continued Hughes.

“He might come across as a nice bloke when he’s interviewed, but he IS French, and you can only hide that from the world for so long.”

“His inherent Frenchness shone through last night, and now he’s just another garlic munching capitulation artiste.”

As a result of last night’s result, the people of Ireland are planning to retaliate with a national ban on French kissing.

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