Wednesday 18 November 2009

T-Mobile customers to be sold everything, everywhere by everyone


Customers of mobile phone company T-Mobile should expect calls any day now from every single company looking to sell to the type of person who would sign a contract with T-Mobile.

The move comes after T-Mobile staff were reported for selling the details of their most gullible customers to organisations selling warehouses full of overpriced useless tat.

One mobile analyst told us, “T-Mobile customers are a particularly attractive segment of the market.”

“They have deep pockets, little attention to detail, and just the right amount of gullibility to sign with a company full of shysters looking for a quick buck.”

“As such, they should expect the phone to start ringing any day now, and not stop until they buy everything in the world, ever, or they move to another provider.  We expect it will be a 50/50 split on who does what.”

Keen

Customer details were purchased by a number of double glazing organisations looking to provide windows and doors to T-Mobile customers at truly competitive rates.

One double glazing salesmen told us, “Yes some of them they say they don’t want to use a company whose employees uses such dubious sales techniques,”

“At least until I point out that they already do.”

John Davies of Bradford said,  “I’ve been trying to selll my 2001 Ford Escort for 3 months, but now I’ve got a list of 1.2 million T-Mobile customers to pitch to.  I’m pretty confident of a sale by Christmas.”

“After all, what could go better with your mobile phone than an 8 year old car?”


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